i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
