No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
