I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
