I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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