My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
