we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You need Xanax blowdarts
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
