This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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