I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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