Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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