i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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