So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
