I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
