Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
