I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
