remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
