Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
