Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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