Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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