so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
