How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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