I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
