I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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