I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize