ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
are you so shy because you have an std?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
