is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
