You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
