Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
His nipple licking is glorious
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