STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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