That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
