This girl is more easily done than said...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
