Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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