my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
