hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
