How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
