He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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