i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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