we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
