There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
