just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
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I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
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They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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