Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
