I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
