Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Fuck appropriateness.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Randomize
