What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
