That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
