I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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