I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
