i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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