I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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