I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think my moral compass just broke
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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