They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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