shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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