he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
