If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
