She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
