Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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