She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
