I think my fart just growled at me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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