If i come over, it means nothing
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
