My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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