While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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