after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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