So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I want a musical about memes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
