last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
