If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.