lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
