im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
