Soap is not a condiment
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
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She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you